Threatened miscarriage

April 20th 2013 was the day I took the test that had 2 pink little lines! I was pregnant again! I had taken a test a week earlier after being a week late and it was negative. 2 weeks late and the test turned positive before it had even been 5 seconds! I yelled to Chris who had pretty much jut gone to bed (he is working nights 7pm to 7am so we are on completely opposite schedules). His reaction "congratulations a high five!"

Obviously not quite the appropriate reaction to finding out we were going to have a baby. :) but I loved his reaction all the same.

I had been to the doctor for a standard medication refill appointment when I mentioned to my nurse Practitioner that I thought I was pregnant. She said that we policy they weren't allowed to issue me a pregnancy test there until the end of the week so she gave me all the instructions for what to do when I would to come back if I did have a positive pregnancy test.

So 2 days after my birthday my baby wish came true again.

I immediately texted Katie and my parents with a picture of the test. I was trilled that this could happen again!

Miscarriage in January and pregnant again by April! I jut just thrilled and so excited that the nightmare that had happened a few short months ago was over and worth it all because I had a new baby to dream about.

I started the process of getting a referral back to Women's Health so that I could see an OB/GYN. I ha to go get paperwork filled out and take urinalysis so they could confirm I was under pregnant.

I had transferred to my new job at the end if December and all the the stuff in January happened with needing to take time off for the surgeries a such... My new department was very aware of what was going on with me. They shared my pain in what happened and knew I was eager to become pregnant again. Since I was needing to take time off to go all the way to base to be seen they had an idea if hat was going on...

They were so excited for me! They knew I was only a few weeks and didn't want anyone to know so they tried to keep it between us.

It all started last Wednesday. The day before we were headed to New York to spend the weekend visiting Katie and Cupcake....

I started spotting and immediately called the Hospital. It had only been 7 weeks since the first day of my last period... This was not good. It reminded me of how it all started last time. I spoke to one of the nurses and she told me to go to the ER if I was worried. 7 weeks... Would thy even be able to see anything at that point? What would they be able to tell us.

There was NO way this could happened to us 2 times in a row. I was positive it could not. Would not....

I went to the ER with Chris that evening and we were seen pretty fast. I was taken straight back for an ultrasound since the on call tech happened to be there and was on his way out.

It is always nerve wracking having an ultrasound when you think there is something wrong and not being able to see the screen. Not knowing what the tech is so intently looking at...

We got taken back to the ER and we waited in the same room as last time... When I was hemorrhaging from the D & C a few short months ago.

The nurse came in and tried to take my blood - which as usual - he had a hard time and ga to put an IV into hand... Drew my blood and we waited longer... Awhile later the doctor came in and told me my HCG ( the pregnancy hormone) seemed low for 7 weeks and that it was just a waiting game to see what happens next. He said I was having a threatened miscarriage.

I knew that was a nice way of saying what was going on...

So we were told to wait t out. We decided to go to NY still as we planned to see my sister. They said that if i were to miscarry there wouldn't be anything I could do to change the outcome so we might as well go.

I talked it over with my dad and he said if I were to miscarry thy this time it would be more like a heavy period since the baby wasn't as developed. ( in January I miscarried at 18 weeks.) I decided to be prepared for the "heavy period" and try to enjoy our trip and it would be a good excuse to try to forget about what was going on inside my body.

(I will blog about the trip in another unrelated post).


So... As if now i go back to the doctor tomorrow for my HCG levels and an ultrasound but it is most likely I miscarried.

I just can't wrapt mind around how this happened twice. Why God keeps letting this happen to us. All day long I see infants, toddlers... Why are they here and my child - children - are not.

I know everyone has their own struggle. Maybe it is getting pregnant. I know I w lucky cause at least I know it is possible. I have a mostly healthy history - no major issues health wise.

I know I need to count my blessings but this is where I am now. Just wanted to share because honestly, these are the things most people don't talk about...